Somebody told me I have a great smile today

It's the first time I've heard that in awhile

I think that means I haven't been smiling all that much lately 

Not the real kind anyway

I feel steady on my own two feet

And it feels good

I'm ready now

You write in visuals
I write in emotion
She writes in theory

Why do the hard things always mean more?

This isn't good
Because I'm flirting with you
And you're flirting back
But there's nowhere to go from here
Yet still I do it
I just like how we are together
Learn from our mistakes
I will not let this go that far
Not again
But still yet I like flirting with you

My life is coded in music

This isn't what I'm meant to be doing
But you
I have never seen anybody meant to be doing something more

And here it is

One day I thought about you and realized I was in love

But see

I thought about you today and I realized that wasn't true anymore

Apparently

It can disappear just like it came

Suddenly and unexpected but a long time coming

You're still beautiful

And I'm still always going to be

One step behind 

The release of thoughts I can't maintain anymore

Doesn't mean much when perfection is only skin deep

there was something flowing in my bones

and i'd like to find words to give it meaning for you

but odds are you wouldn't know it if you heard it

and the things i never understood before are talking in my ear

rearranging fates

forgive me for all the time i didn't know i was waiting for you

i always wondered if you knew

Falling in love is as personal as a fingerprint

The butterflies opened their mouths wide and swallowed me whole
I felt it here, there and everywhere

This is my love song to me

You still think you know it all, that you are right in everything, even now as I'm telling you this. You think I'm wrong. You got this whole thing figured out. You know all the truths and motives and reasons why people do what they do. You're too needy for attention to be anything but selfish. And I believe you love with everything you have but you don't yet know that your everything isn't the only thing that matters. Adult relationships, they aren't about grand gestures and big moments (though they happen). No. It's the everyday little things that add up to mean the most.

If it wasn't for her, it'd be you

You loved me at my worst

And you deserve more then me walking away

But to be a better me

I needed to distance myself from all that I was

And I can't do that with you reminding me of all I'm capable of becoming

You pull it off with such grace and beauty
I wonder if you know the way the world circles at your feet

I have to forget again everyday

Those moments still take my breath away

And I'm putting this here because I think you might be someone that understands letting go of the ropes with the burns of holding on still stinging your hands.  

Truth is I don't know any of my own truths

Yeah you come to mind

I feel it all the time
Yeah you come to mind
Each time I see it
Yeah you come to mind
Whisper it time after time
Yeah you come to mind

You always come to mind
Yeah you come to mind

I should have told you a thousand and two times
But I really only needed you to feel it once

I wanted you to tell me you loved me back
But either way I would have been heartbroken
Because I always knew when you were lying to me

Lost things in my head

To save my heart from reviving that place

I played the radio loud to drown out your sound
Your voice is locked inside my head
Changing my direction just to out run your face

You were a couple of lovers ago, I'm still thinking about you

When you first looked at me, I lived a lifetime in your eyes
(Keeping faith is hard when logic says move on)

They don't write songs about girls from .........
(so/but) this ones for you
(and there's a (light/glow) from your town)
(lights the sky for your smile/keeps my eyes from seeing your smile)
(close my eyes tight (trying) to keep you out/
No matter how (tight) I close them to keep you out)
Your smile is imprinted behind my eyes
Begging you to let me go

Your passion eyes and determined touch
Show me more then this my love
You still belong to me
I'm dying here, thinking of wasted time
Why do you leave (these/this) story unfinished
And there's (no/not a) perfect
But for a moment you were mine
And that was close enough for me

You are my art of getting by

blah blah blahhhhhhhh

I refuse to be sad anymore

Over you

Over her

Over things I somehow think I'm missing out on

Because the reason I'm missing out on them is because I just sit here

I know this and the fact that I'm still here is all on me

Get the fuck up and do something 

Anything

Don't watch as it all goes by when you can be a part of it

That's the only thing to be disappointed about here

Get the fuck over it  

So much changes
I wish my feelings would too
For every girl I still hold onto
Each one for different feelings
What the fuck am I doing

There's all this time
You have nothing left to give
But you still want to give everything to her

I've got a million things to do before I die

I don't have time to be thinking of you like this

Place the things you want inside the emptiness of your cage

Change the view from you seat you've become attached to

I've still got a million things to do before I die

It's not the same

There is no going back and staying the way we are seems tragic

So that leaves moving on

The days pass and it's just easier

There's still things inside, I want to keep them there

But as for everything else...

Falling asleep during the day, when there's proof of life

Alone at night I stay awake

Every time I close my eyes I half believe I won't wake up

I have all the time in the world for you

Unfinished Things

She hates the early mornings
But loves the smell of coffee in the air
She'll tell you a story with faces and voices
But can loose the point somewhere along the way
She makes the whole room laugh
With a straight face and a bottle in her hand
Reads you the poems of Neruda and Cummings
Like they're her own
There's a ring you never gave her
You knew you'd never keep her with a cage

And it's nights like this
When words of her linger in your mind
And every choice you made
How you let her walk away
Memories of the last night
All the firsts she gave you
Feelings you only felt for her

The beaches of California, the streets of New York City
Everywhere you've held her hand
You tasted her lips on a train out of nowhere
(Ended up/got) lost in the hills of another country
You chased her through a park in Northeast Oklahoma (just after noon)
(Got) hidden away in a bed made of sheets (just after noon/in her apartment)
All her dreams she told you
With an accent she whispered in your ear
And you've known since you first saw her
You'll always remember finding that face

And it's nights like this
When words of her linger in your mind
And every choice you made
How you let her walk away
All the first she gave you
The memories of the last night
Feelings you only felt for her

You were her protector at midnight
When the (demons/nightmares) dragged her down
Her faith in her own doubt
Chased away (one) too many chances
(Sometimes) she'd talk to you through sunrise, (just) to avoid (the pain of) waking up
She never let it go, a past that broke her soul 
And all the scars she wears (are/)became the evidence of (her) survival
You're of the few to see her something beyond skin deep
She packaged herself in ribbon and lace

And it's nights like this
When words of her linger in your mind
And every choice you made
How you let her walk away
All the first she gave you
The memories of the last night
Feelings you only felt for her

There's days you have moved on
When silence fills your heart
How the things you chose
Finally let you go
Her last goodbye
Memories of that first kiss
Everything you still feel for her

Always for her

I'm the Dan to her Leo
The Dean to her Logan
A Spike to her Angel
Noel to her Ben

The fill in for things meant to be
A past mocking the future



Fuck I'm showing my age again

When she talks about the distance and being sad about not being able to touch you
Do you know she's talking about your heart not your skin

Didn't you know

Weren't my wordless thoughts enough

My hidden tears and silent sighs

My passive aggressive nature didn't clue you in

Shame on you for not understanding the me I don't let you see

I hate the question 'what's new ' from your lips

There was a time you never asked me that

Because you always knew

I've never really run after a girl

I've tried to get them to stop

I've always told them how I felt

What they mean to me

And I've been heartbroken

And desperate for them to want me back

But I've never gone after them once they go

I think to myself sometimes that one day there will be a girl

The one I lose my pride for 

The one I lose my mind for

The one I make the biggest fool of myself for

The one I stop writing on a hidden blog and expose myself for

The one that overwhelms all my control
And that day I will run with burning lungs until I catch her

And maybe that girl will stay

I loved her enough to let her walk away
You should have loved her enough to stay

The thing is, what is hard to let go of for people like you and me, isn't that they didn't care. It's that they didn't care the way we wanted them too. They didn't show it the way we needed them too. It's never quite so clear as to how they can hurt you so bad and seem to be so untouched by it until the day you mimic them by destroying another's heart. Then something clicks, it was never about you. It was that she was so lost in despising herself at the expense of knowing how to express love.