You or me

Your writing is on repeat
Change out your pen
Dive from a bridge
Scream in a place it echos
Something to rediscover your originality
Don't lose the uniqueness that demands people's attention
You're melting it away for cheap looks
I used to read your words over and over
Memorized by heart
I save you for last now, hold my breath through each new piece
Hoping to feel it again
The surge of anticipation empties out my chest as the words drift around me
Not through me with barbs that dig in to get stuck like when I first knew you

I remember when 3 lines hurt with feeling so much my chest physically ached for days after from the responding pounding in my chest

That's the girl that can make this happen
Find me that girl

Second person feels detached

The taste was different then you thought

So was the smell

The color was slightly off too but it was close enough

And the words are memorized but there's a buzz overlapping them

You think for a moment 'shouldn't I be more excited?'

But then it's over and the question is dated

You can still feel the  heat on your skin

There are times I think that lifetime will never come, but then I realize our time is now

I don't feel like I'm waiting when it comes to you

We are how we are and it's beautiful

And I know things will change and I look forward to all of it

But there's more here now with us then too many people get to see in a lifetime

We aren't doing this because we have too

We do it because it's the only thing that makes sense

You are my faith

A bowtie and hat, the suspenders are for you

#89

Letting you dress me because we both know I have no style sense

(Yes I'll carry the bags)

Those Days

Wake up without the need for an alarm, refreshed from deep sleep

Your hair falls into place easily with just a comb of your fingers, you look in the mirror and like what you see for the first time in months

There's a hint of a smile taking control of your lips and there's not an overpowering reason why it's just there

The sun is shinning, a to do list to complete but nothing pressing, meeting up with a few old friends

Your girl calls just to say she loves you

And you remember there's been bad days before and you know there are bad days to come

But today is easy, peaceful, just enough of a break to remind you (it's not endless/the struggle isn't everything)

Today I don't feel hopeless

It's nice

Thanks for the help

Bones

It burst through your bones

Snapping and cracking the solid frame built from years of growth

Grinding to dust every fortified rib and femur

The marrow (leaking/draining) out through every pore

That thick skin you wear so brazenly protects you mightily from outside invasions

But that's been built around your osteopathic soul

They're already inside



Oh look, a simile

I want you like a jellyfish needs water

That was new

It was a different tone

(I love knowing you well enough that I can detect it)

I knew what it was but I didn't want to call you on it if you didn't recognize it

You did

I didn't mean to cause it

It just came out

I backtracked but a little slower then real retreat

I wanted to know if I was right

I pushed

Kept saying things to encourage it

I'm sorry I'm needy enough to require demonstrations

I know it wasn't about you doubting me

But how you felt something you wanted to give me was stripped from you

Believe me it's still there

Just for you

I think I conveyed that plainly to you

You got it

You have me

It's still another thing you said you didn't do

And it's not proving you wrong at all, but being your exception, that thrills me

What you do to me, she might as well never have said her name

That position isn't benefiting her in the slightest

You're still all I see

But I've felt it too

Jealousy 

You're my favorite 'what might have been'

I'm so proud of the person you are, the person you will become, and the person you have always been. My luck was confirmed that day life let me share a blanket with you and every day that followed where you kept me around. I lives you always.

I left these everywhere so you could find them.

Something New, Again

(Unproofed and I need to pick one tense but I don't feel like it tonight)


Jaiden wiped the condensation off the mirror with her hand that had gathered there from her shower. She stared at her reflection almost not recognizing what she saw, or rather the lack of what she saw. It had been quite some time since she could look herself in the eye and not see it there. The longing. The heartache. The anger.

The fear.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The decision had been made and nothing was going to change that. Now it all came down to dealing with the consequences of that decision. There was an extreme peace in no longer having to struggle with what to do. she already knew and she was sure that that was what had changed what she saw in the mirror. She was trying to get used to not having to fight with herself anymore.She figured that would take some time but she was okay with that.

Wrapped in a towel Jaiden walked out of the bathroom into her bedroom. Hair hand dried and thrown into a messy ponytail because she wanted to avoid making too much noise. The early morning sun was coming through the window enough to see without having to turn on the lights. Slowly moving around the room as silently as she could to put he clothes on.

When she was done she finally let her eyes wander to her bed and absorb the figure that lay in it. Blonde hair sprawled across the pillow, a single sheet covering the naked body underneath. Long legs fully visible and Jaiden was sure that she would never get used to what seeing all that skin did to her. She never wanted to.

She couldn’t help the smile that came to her face as she walked close. She let herself just watch the beautiful girl sleep face up, body completely open and vulnerable. So trusting. Jaiden nver knew how to do that. She slept on her side curled into a ball protecting herself from anything that may come while slept. She wanted t so everything she possibly could to make sure teh sleeping girl always had that much faith in the world.

Jaiden stared down at that perfect body beneath her as she made it to the edge of the bed. Placing her knee onto the mattress she lend over to place a gentle kiss onto a cool forehead. Her intentions had been for that to be it, she had tried so hard not to wake the girl in her bed since she had gotten up, but she couldn’t resist the need to kiss soft lips as well.

Jaiden grinned as the sleeping girl immediately began kissing back. And while she should feel bad that she woke the girl she couldn’t actually bring herself to make that happen because it felt so good. Jaiden loved that that was the unconscious response she invoked in the blonde.

Finally pulling away slightly Jaiden opened her eyes to see sleepy blue looking back at her. “Hey.” breathed past her lips as she brought her hand to move some stray blonde hair behind an ear. “I need to go. I have some stuff I need to do.”

Blake lifted herself up so she could rest on her elbows still keeping her eyes on the brunette. Jaiden felt the need to explain further so she hurriedly said “I just want to go think about some things. I’ll be back. I just...” Her words trailed off when she didn’t know how to explain any further.

“Okay.” Was all the now coherent Luka said like she never needed an explanation to begin with.

Jaiden scrunched her eyebrows. “Okay?” She questioned having expected more.

“You’ll be back?” Jaiden nodded yes. “Then okay.”

There was that easy trust again that left Jaiden knowing that the decision they both made last night had been right. She wasn’t leaving to question that. She wanted to go marvel in it for awhile. Find a place for it all in her head. Enjoy the peace that now replaced the conflict that had previously been within her. It was something she needed to process alone and the fact that Luka just understood it made Jaiden fall a little more.

She got a little giddy when she thought about Luka and her together. Finally they had come to a point that resisting what was between them was only creating pain. Pain for them, pain for Jake, and pain for all their friends who were all watching the two girls fight so hard to break their own hearts. It seemed impossible for them to be together for the longest time.But she supposed sometimes it was okay to get the impossible.

A smile spread across Jaiden’s face ad she wondered at how many times Luka had made her do that just in that single morning. She moved to kiss Luka again because there was nothing else to be said.

She moaned a little as Luka lifted one of her hands to the back of Jadien’s head in order to deepen the kiss. Eventually she pulled away again and Luka let her go reluctantly.

As Jaiden stood up she noticed the sheet had fallen to reveal a naked torso and her eyes froze on the naked flesh. An exaggerated clearing of a throat brought her out of it. Looking back up to Luka’s face she saw an amused smirk and blushed a bit but returned the smirk just same. Without a word but without breaking eye contact either Jaiden got off the bed and backed away to the door.

“I’ll be back.”

Grabbing a coat she stood there until Luka blew her a kiss.

Oh she was definitely coming back.

So the truth is...

I want cuddles

There may be other things too

But at the end of any day I want to cuddle with you more then anything

Hold you in my arms

Rest my head in the spot where your neck and shoulder meet

So yeah

I know what you mean

Hey you-

I see you watching me
Say hi

"Let's go make you shed a tear"

#103

Ice skating at Snoopy's Ice Arena

(How do I know I'll be holding you up the whole time)

Are you keeping count?

#15 
Wrap myself up in your arms as you read me poetry and stories

"Are you going to tell me the reason you're here?"
"No. I'm going to stare at you for awhile and then leave with a longing look goodbye. It's how I prove I'm deep and mysterious."
"And pathetic."