(More Half Finished Thoughts)
Who knows if I made the right choice
But I made it
That counts for something... right?
Illusions seem to surround me
I thought of you today
You seem so scared of the happiness
Stop trying to make it okay for everyone else and just be it
She's your reason
There's a certain numbness and a certain joy, they coexist here today
I think it might be fake too
I find it bizarre that nothing seems to surprise me
This of all things should have left me stunned
Instead I'm just a bit sad, a little impressed, and oddly accepting
Like this was inevitable and I was just playing along until the end
But even now this isn't an end
I always have trouble letting go
I'm sorry you hate me
It's something I would change if I could
But you don't listen to anything but your own pain
And all we do is talk in circles
I'm sure I could give into you, at least some
But you won't budge for me
You wanted to wait
I'm sick of waiting
I wonder if someday you"ll understand
If you let go because you're so certain you'll mess it up
You're going to mess it up
It's easy to love someone
The hard part is letting them love you back
I've thought about deleting this stuff too
But someone once told me to never throw any of it out
Even if you messed it up
So I'm leaving it to remind me
Of what I haven't figured out yet
We're not totalled
But we're not okay either
No matter what I let you think
I still see a forever
Just maybe not in this life
