And the thing is now it's not for her
Now it's not for anyone
You are now doing this for you
Forging your own path and making your own dreams reality
And I am completely amazed by you
I'll never tell you because I don't want to make anything about me
Or bring attention to things of the past
But wow
You are just a beautiful human being in mind, body and strength and spirit
I've always known that

You don't know there is a me in the world

And maybe that will always be true

But I hear your tears from here 

And I can't explain why

Yet I wish I knew 3 reasons to make you smile

I've spent the initial wave of pain in hiding

Bandaged the puncture wounds

Stitched the shallow cuts

There's deeper ones that time will mend but never quite heal 

They'll never know the memories you fall asleep to

When your only choices break your soul

Being dragged away on dug in heels from everything you want

The hallow in your gut from the loss of faith in all you hold close

I remember not to remember

But the tears forget to forget 

Sometimes I don't know the words to tell you
But know I will always find the ways to show you

I want to be a superhero for you 

But I know that's not fair

That you need to figure out how strong you are

How wonderfully strong I know you are

You are beautiful and smart and so incredibly intriguing

These are just some of the things I know

The Things of Change

It's ghosts and shadows
Hints of dreams and faded memories
An affect patterned into my senses
Laying there in wait
The impending build of something unknown

Please don't let her know she still occupies my heart

Life bursting into existence
The brand new taking shaky first steps
Light showers reviving decay
There is only beginnings here, too naive to know about endings

Sun and laughter
The heat of the night chasing warm bodies out under the stars
Eyes glued to blinking lights millions of miles away
Surrounded by the sensitive melody of crickets that silence with the slightest of movement

Shades of color the keep us mesmerized
The wind trying to sweep the streets clean
Long walks holding hands under falling leaves
The beauty covers the death that is already here

The ground becomes one shape
Using shovels to create paths, trying to find a way back
Keeping everything locked tight, avoiding the storm
Snuggled in blankets by fireplaces too entangled to notice

I should have kissed you

In 21 days I knew
And somethings happen sooner
Some things take much longer
But it was 21 days that decided my fate

There was a chance

All I remember is there was a chance 

And the moment she looked at me with that smile 

Any chance became the air