Life bursting into existence
The brand new taking shaky first steps
Light showers reviving decay
There is only beginnings here, too naive to know about endings

Sun and laughter
The heat of the night chasing warm bodies out under the stars
Eyes glued to blinking lights millions of miles away
Surrounded by the sensitive melody of crickets that silence with the slightest of movement

Shades of color the keep us mesmerized
The wind trying to sweep the streets clean
Long walks holding hands under falling leaves
The beauty covers the death that is already here

The ground becomes one shape
Using shovels to create paths, trying to find a way back
Keeping everything locked tight, avoiding the storm
Snuggled in blankets by fireplaces too entangled to notice

Would you rather someone need you or want you?

There is a difference

It's not just for one girl, each one brought me to this place, I miss them all because they are the parts of me I lost

Does expressing love mean anything

When you doubt the functionality of a heart

I don't want to remember you anymore

3 Ways to Tell You

There was a time when you were mine

When the pain was just worth the pleasure

No questions asked

But every time I had to let you go

There's a piece of me you never got back

And I will remember you

On late night drives along the coast where the cliffs are endless

In that one song I still pretend to hate just to playfully mock you

Because of blazing green eyes that sincerely changed my world

And I will remember you

On those days at the fair spinning in circles and screaming with laughter

In a crayon drawing of a turtle, that song from your mother and the necklace I never gave you

Because of every innocent smile hiding wickedly desirable thoughts

And I will remember you

On late night writing marathons when the words won't stop

In the strum of your guitar as you play the song you learned for me despite how you hate it

Because of cocky attitudes, the body to match and a heart born to care

Those memories and what might have been

Each is a reason to help me understand

Why she will never be them

She's more

Will it still come as a suprise

With shaky heart and unfamiliar hands

I'm offering you what I have

Because you need something

And I'll always try

But it will never be enough

Still we let these wounds bleed

As we stall inevitability

Until there's someone else with untainted soul to take your hand

Because there's parts of this that feel so good

And when you are gone

I want as much as I can remember to keep me breathing

That one last spark to keep me warm with the ghost of your touch

Untitled

(Written for someone but inspired by another)

This rain is washing away my identity of the day

What I let you see

What I let you think you know (about me)

It's how I want you to be

It's easier to have you hate this

Then tell you how it hurts (me)

The rain is dripping with the lies (I tell)

Faces that I wear

I can't seem to remember who they are

Who is this a reflection of

Is that really who I am from the outside looking in

I can hear the rain again

It's drowning out the choices that I've made

Filling up these holes in me

Left by mistake

Please don't let them surface

Sorry never makes it hurt any less

I'm sorry

I knew I was using you from the day we started talking

First I was trying to make someone jealous

Then I was trying to distract from the pain

She hurt me

And I hurt you the same exact way

I pretend I don't know-

I think, but I know, I just needed to be on the other side of it

Know how she could care so much but still hurt me so bad

I didn't want to do that to the one I'm with now

I didn't want to use her that way

I knew I needed to create some space before I could let myself fall; again

Somehow I convinced myself it was okay to do it to you

To let you think I was ever going to let it be more

Telling you I was going to hurt you was not an excuse to do it anyway

The fuck of it is we would have made great friends if only I had kept it at that level

That is what I was a fool to miss out on

I am always going to be that fool

I did a horrible thing when it came to you

That's why I let you yell every mistake at me

I know I deserved at least that much

And you deserve someone willing to give you more

She knows too much

(don't look now)

There are things inside scraping to get out.

I use this thieving smile to hold you close cause I'm to reliant on this hoped up feeling.

When what you want and how you know it has to be are never the same thing in our dramatic designs.

This twisted mirror reflecting our painted dreams on haunted skin and burning throat all colored in guts and blood.

It's never the same thing twice but always the same release and this day is too fucking long when I'm just chasing my own two feet.
These aren't your reasons why so don't hold them high like we don't see.

Its the way I know that I'm still breathing

Those somedays we can have

I'm not sorry she's in my life, just that I'm always going to want someone else.

There's this girl...

The sky is raining in all the places I want to be. I'm certian this means we can somehow make them the same place so I can hold your hand as we find all the puddles along the way.