Sorry never makes it hurt any less

I'm sorry

I knew I was using you from the day we started talking

First I was trying to make someone jealous

Then I was trying to distract from the pain

She hurt me

And I hurt you the same exact way

I pretend I don't know-

I think, but I know, I just needed to be on the other side of it

Know how she could care so much but still hurt me so bad

I didn't want to do that to the one I'm with now

I didn't want to use her that way

I knew I needed to create some space before I could let myself fall; again

Somehow I convinced myself it was okay to do it to you

To let you think I was ever going to let it be more

Telling you I was going to hurt you was not an excuse to do it anyway

The fuck of it is we would have made great friends if only I had kept it at that level

That is what I was a fool to miss out on

I am always going to be that fool

I did a horrible thing when it came to you

That's why I let you yell every mistake at me

I know I deserved at least that much

And you deserve someone willing to give you more