Past to present you're still my constant

I catch you sometimes
You have this look on your face when you go back
Remembering things you still perceive as your fault

Broken ribs, bloody noeses, stitches over the one eye that was blind for a week
A scar on the upper lip that matches the one from the car door at seven years old
Kicks and punches designed for submitting
Hiding from drunken rages, the smell of weed lingering
That chase that led us through a window and the most fucked up game of tug of war

There are glimpses of it in me
The parts that made me stronger
The parts abandoned long ago
The parts that still affect me
The parts where I am just like him

I lie about the reasons I don't do certain things
But you know the truth

I don't blame you
I've never spent too much time on blaming anyone for anything
Things happen in life
Some of it stems from outside sources
But it's always my choice what I do with it

I really wish I could take that glistening from your eyes
It's the only thing that still hurts me