All I wanted was you

All I do is sleep now to avoid any and all thoughts of you

Even in sleep you invade my dreams

To numb to even cry anymore

My tears are stuck behind my eyes

Burning me blind

I have a list of all the things we didn't get to do together

It grows by the day

I used to love our lists

Do you ever feel like most your life is spent getting over someone?

I miss you

So fucking much

And my heart still pounded at the sound of your voice today

But I can hear how you have given up

I wanted to say more

But the wind was impossible to deal with

It's illogical but I feel like you put that buffer there

So we couldn't actually have a real conversation

And I'm sorry I yelled

But I'm so frustrated

With the situation

With how I've handled everything

With you

I don't think I ask for much

But this is important

And I know you're going to ignore it

Like everything else you don't want to deal with

Or that is even a little hard

I asked you to just be upfront with me

But that didn't happen

I asked you to believe in me

That one takes time I know

I asked you to tell him everything

I feel like you're going to throw me away instead

Maybe you really do need time to grow up

Why do I always have to let go of the things that mean the most

I'm not going anywhere

I'm still in the same place

But you can't get to me anymore

I'm sure you've lost my location

And all I can do is stand still

I'm begging you to come find me

When the time is right please come find me

Nobody has ever matched my heart like you

Nobody ever will

I will be waiting

It's long but I can handle anything that brings me to you

Do you think that by then you will be able to believe in me?

My heart is having a really rough year